Submitted by YOUR NEW REALITY

Giraffe Fight Club

I’ll probably regret telling all of you this, but for most of my life I’ve had a completely unnatural, near crippling fear of giraffes. Just seeing one of bizarre horned heads on a TV ad makes my blood run cold. On a funniest home video show one night, a clip was aired where a giraffe bolted onto a road somewhere in Africa and almost took out a passing car. I nearly shrieked.

My parter, naturally, thinks Fear Of Giraffes is hysterical, and loves to show me photos in newspapers or magazines where the freakishly long-necked creatures are looming out of the page. I can’t remember a time when giraffes have featured so prominently in TV and magazine advertising. They’re fucking everywhere I look.

So, in an effort to confront The Fear, I’m posting a truly horrific video of two giraffes fighting. I needed a double Wild Turkey just to look at this clip. I still can’t watch it all the way through :

Yeah, I know. You probably think the video is funny. But look at the way their necks bend and those beak-like heads swoosh about. Brrr. Goddammit. I’m not too sure whether or not aliens have ever visited our planet, but if they have, they visited Africa millions of years ago and mated with the local wildlife. The result? Those bandy-legged, stubby-horned, flexi-necked beasts you call ‘The Giraffe’.

You don’t want to know what I call them.

(hat tip to BoingBoing)

Rating 3.00 out of 5
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